1. She had a great walk; a walk that made you lift your head up straight, turn, and think “I really wanna thank the Creator for putting all those curves together that way!”

2. My Victorinox multitool is by my side, always.

3. I know this: the government is a good steward with my taxes; they know better than I how to fix things, and get things moving; I’m so happy the government cares about me and my family; I’m onboard with paying more taxes; and, I think I’ll send some extra in this month, just because I know they’ll take really good care of it.

4.  The government also knows that alcohol is evil, and shouldn’t be made by the commoners; they should take some more of my money and use it to track down anyone who might be running a moonshine still.

5. These words apply to me: sarcastic, moody, occasionally funny, realistic, and a punk-face..

6. Boy oh boy don’t I wish the sun was shining.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to chillin’ at home, tomorrow my plans include best manning at one wedding, then playing drums at another, and Sunday, I want to make sure I get it together!

In the dream, I was going to visit this Catholic priest I knew: one Father Priori. Yup. The priest in my dream had a name. I walked up to his house, and knocked on his door. The door opened, and there was the priest, but it wasn’t quite him. It looked sorta like him, but he was all pasty white, like he’d been covered in hand cream and flour, or something. He was couched down, and hunched over, and looking up at me, and snarling. That’s when I realized the devil had possessed Father Priori! It caused me to throw up in my mouth. And what did I throw up? You guessed it: a turd! How my digestive system got so messed up is beyond me, but I ended up with this smallish, and very firm, poop in my mouth. And what did I do with this little fecal thingy? What would you do? I threw it at the devil! Then I woke up.

I said:  “I’m going on vacation next week. Yea! I’m really thinking I need some time away, and I think this vacation will really do me some good. Here are 5 vacation inspired questions.”

1) Tell us a memorable vacation story you have from your childhood.

We were camping in this campground called Cathedral Pines. I think it was up near Moosehead Lake, but I wouldn’t swear to it. I remember we took a quick trip into Canada, just so we could say we went. While there, my folks bought me this deep sea diver toy. It would sink in the water, and then you would blow into this hose to bring the diver back up. We also brought my pet hermit crab along. We thought he died. I don’t remember if it was Mom or Dad who was holding him in one hand, and digging a hole with a spoon in the other, but it was at that moment the crab decided to show everyone he wasn’t dead, and it rather startled my parent.

2) Tell us a memorable vacation tale from your adulthood.

Before Dad died, he had this dream of taking his whole family on a cruise. He succeeded. It was on that cruise that I snorkeled in Jamaica. I spent two hours snorkeling, my back to the hot Jamaica sun. I got the worst sunburn of my life. I would endure that sunburn again for two more hours snorkeling in those crystal waters.

3) Assume you and your mate/significant other/best friend are going on a dream vacation. You don’t have to pay for any of it. Where do you go? Why?

Susan and I have this dream vacation spot we imagine sometimes. It’s a crescent shaped, sandy beach. Out in the deeper water, a local fishing boat puts out. Over the dunes to my left, a guitarist is playing a samba I can hear on the wind. There’s a wonderful cottage, complete with two servants. Felix is 6′ 2″, very thin, with white hair and a white goatee. He brings us drinks, and keeps the grounds. His wife’s name is Janice. She looks like an island version of Aunt Jamaima. She attends to our needs, hurries her husband about, and cooks wonderful food! Most days, Susan and I spend the day under white beach umbrellas, sipping cool somethings, and listening to the sound of samba and fishing boat motor rumbles.

4) Now, come back down to Earth, and tell us about a “dream” vacation that you think might actually happen some day. Where is that? How long until you think it becomes reality?

Another great family vacation we had was when Susan’s parents took their whole family to Disneyworld. I really loved it, and can’t wait to go back. We’d like the boys to be a little older, so they’ll remember it. Maybe five years? Of course, I’ve got to figure out how to pay for it all.

5) There are some missionary students on “working vacation” coming to my house for dinner tonight. If someone came to stay with you for vacation, what would you feed them that was really considered a “local delicacy”? What regional food would be a “must have”?

I was able to secure some Whoopie Pies for our guests. A Wasses hot-dog would be in order if they come to Rockland. Of course, they’d also need a Billy Rhythm burger from the Brass Compass. Blueberry pancakes and/or pie.

T-two hours to wedding take off. Everything is going mostly fine up to this point. I cut myself shaving this AM, and bled for like two hours! The trash can in the bathroom looks like someone performed surgery in there; there’s bloody pieces of bandage (i.e. tissues) all through it! We went into Bay City for breakfast, and found this little place called Turkey’s. It was very hot, and I paid way too much ($8.50) for two eggs, two pieces of homemade wheat toast, and canned hash. I’m giving the groom-to-be husbandly advice on things like “picking your side of the bed” and stuff like that. I found out yesterday that, in addition to the toast, I’m in charge of announcing the bride and groom at the reception, making sure the music is taken care of at reception, offering the invocation at the reception, and making sure the bride’s aunt is trained in how to use the video camera! Oh, and make sure the officiant (Pastor Joe) has the rings. And learn everyone’s name too! Jim told me that Heather’s husband name is Matt. It isn’t! It’s Chris. Now I have to un-learn the name, and remember the right one! Yow!

Hey gang. I’ve been really slack on the posting the last few weeks, huh. Work has been bangin’ right along. It’s billing day next week, so that takes some pre-planning. Our Newcastle office moved to Nobleboro on June 1st, so that took me out of the office for a couple of days, resulting in two days worth of catch-up. Then I worked out in the field one day, so there’s one more day of behind-en-ness.

Last week was Jim’s bachelor party. As the best man, it was my job to throw it. Today, I’m catching a flight to Detroit, where I’ll pick up a rental car and travel four hours north. The wedding is Sunday. On Monday, I travel back to Detroit, and fly out in the evening. I’ll be back in ME late Monday, early Tuesday. I’ll prepare for billing day Tuesday, then billing day proper is Wednesday. I’ll try to make it throught Thursday and Friday, and then the following week is vacation! Yeah! I really could use one.

Also stuffed in there was my and Susan’s wedding anniversary. We celebrated 15 years of Holy Matrimony with supper at our favorite-est little eatery: Prism Glass. We started off with beef carpaccio. Susan had a veal parmigna, and I had linguini and clams. Dessert was some sort of caramel chocolate cake with banana sorbet. It was all very delicious. There are still so many things on the menu we want to try: pork chops with vidallia onion jam; chicken with artichoke hearts; duck breast with a dried blueberry glaze; lamb chops. Wowwie!

When we got home from dinner, we cut into the top layer of our wedding cake. That’s right! We forgot to eat it on our first anniversary, so we ate it on our 15th! My parents did sorta the same thing; they forgot to eat theirs, and ate it on their 10th. I remember it! I’m sure Julia will remember eating ours, too. The boys are almost 5–they probably won’t. The cake had good chocolate flavor, but was very dry. There was no “freezer funk” to it. The kids didn’t seem to care about the texture; the boys were upset we threw the bulk of it away! I took some photos, but they’re not posted yet.