The MI-5

I said:  “I’m going on vacation next week. Yea! I’m really thinking I need some time away, and I think this vacation will really do me some good. Here are 5 vacation inspired questions.”

1) Tell us a memorable vacation story you have from your childhood.

We were camping in this campground called Cathedral Pines. I think it was up near Moosehead Lake, but I wouldn’t swear to it. I remember we took a quick trip into Canada, just so we could say we went. While there, my folks bought me this deep sea diver toy. It would sink in the water, and then you would blow into this hose to bring the diver back up. We also brought my pet hermit crab along. We thought he died. I don’t remember if it was Mom or Dad who was holding him in one hand, and digging a hole with a spoon in the other, but it was at that moment the crab decided to show everyone he wasn’t dead, and it rather startled my parent.

2) Tell us a memorable vacation tale from your adulthood.

Before Dad died, he had this dream of taking his whole family on a cruise. He succeeded. It was on that cruise that I snorkeled in Jamaica. I spent two hours snorkeling, my back to the hot Jamaica sun. I got the worst sunburn of my life. I would endure that sunburn again for two more hours snorkeling in those crystal waters.

3) Assume you and your mate/significant other/best friend are going on a dream vacation. You don’t have to pay for any of it. Where do you go? Why?

Susan and I have this dream vacation spot we imagine sometimes. It’s a crescent shaped, sandy beach. Out in the deeper water, a local fishing boat puts out. Over the dunes to my left, a guitarist is playing a samba I can hear on the wind. There’s a wonderful cottage, complete with two servants. Felix is 6′ 2″, very thin, with white hair and a white goatee. He brings us drinks, and keeps the grounds. His wife’s name is Janice. She looks like an island version of Aunt Jamaima. She attends to our needs, hurries her husband about, and cooks wonderful food! Most days, Susan and I spend the day under white beach umbrellas, sipping cool somethings, and listening to the sound of samba and fishing boat motor rumbles.

4) Now, come back down to Earth, and tell us about a “dream” vacation that you think might actually happen some day. Where is that? How long until you think it becomes reality?

Another great family vacation we had was when Susan’s parents took their whole family to Disneyworld. I really loved it, and can’t wait to go back. We’d like the boys to be a little older, so they’ll remember it. Maybe five years? Of course, I’ve got to figure out how to pay for it all.

5) There are some missionary students on “working vacation” coming to my house for dinner tonight. If someone came to stay with you for vacation, what would you feed them that was really considered a “local delicacy”? What regional food would be a “must have”?

I was able to secure some Whoopie Pies for our guests. A Wasses hot-dog would be in order if they come to Rockland. Of course, they’d also need a Billy Rhythm burger from the Brass Compass. Blueberry pancakes and/or pie.

Assuming you must pick one:

1) Motorcycle or Jet Ski? Why?

I never driven a Jet Ski. I have ridden a motorcycle. And while I do own a scooter, and while I do love riding around on two wheels, I think I’d rather have a Jet Ski. It’s so much less practical, but seems like it would be even more fun. I’d use it less. It’s harder to find someone to repair it. I’d have to tow it everywhere. But still, more fun. (I think.)

2) Fruit pie or cream pie? Which kind? Why?

Cream pie. Specifically, chocolate cream pie, with homemade cooked pudding, ver ythick, very dense, and heavy on the cocoa p0wder. Schmear whipped cream on top, or even Cool Whip if you have to. And a regular crust, please, not graham cracker. I like graham cracker ok, but would prefer a real crust.

3) Book or magazine? How come?

I don’t seem to have enough time for books. A magazine allows me to read–which I like–but not have to devote myself to one style for a month. I can pick and choose the parts I like the best.

4) Hot beverage or cool drink? What’s your fav?

I’ve been a milk drinker for years, but if I had to pick only one drink, I think I’d have to take hot black coffee.

5) What’s on the grill on Monday–beef, pork, or fowl? What’s the specifics?

I’m a pork guy. For myself, I think I’m making Cheddarwurst sausages. Susan is a steak person. I like steak on the grill too (specifically bone in rib steaks), but would prefer spare ribs, pork chops, or some kind of sausage.

Questions provided by me! We got a new phone system at my office this week. This MI-5 is inspired by that event.

1) When you answer the phone, do you say anything special?

When I’m at the office, I say “Good (Morning/Afternoon/Evening), this is Bill.” For some strange reason, people occasionally think I say my name is “Doug.” I’m not sure how they get it, but when people mis-hear my name, 70% of the time, they think I say Doug, and 30% of the time they think I say Phil (which is understandable). At home, I just say “Hello.”

2) Other than “Bye” or “Bye-Bye,” do you say anything else when you end a conversation? Do you ever use any other closing?

If I know the person I’m speaking to well, I might say something like “Rock on” or “Later.” I sometimes catch myself telling customers “See you later,” when in fact I probably won’t see them later. Just this week I said “See you later” to someone I’ve never even met!

3) How about your cell phone… Do you use a lot of minutes, or do you hoard them? Love your cell, or just a necessity/tool?

I use a tracfone, and I don’t use many minutes. It’s a tool for me. I need to have it for when I need it. Other than those times, I don’t care about it. I know someone who is always on her cell phone. She’ll be at her desk–which includes a very nice phone–and she’ll use her cell to make outgoing calls. I’d say 90% of the time when I see her around town in the car, she’s on the cell. I don’t like talking on the phone that much.

4) Is your answering machine message funny? Cute? Straight ahead, all business?

Susan records our answering machine message. Though I liked funny messages when I was younger, I like straight ahead now. I do like it when someone leaves at least one name in their machine. When the voice says “You’ve reached 555-1212,” and doesn’t say “the home of Bill,” or “the home of the Battys” or whatever, you don’t know if you’ve reached the right number. Even worse is the answer that leaves you no identifiable info. “Please leave a message.” Then, I need to hang up and redial to make sure I didn’t mis-dial the first time around. Privacy is one thing, but we’re not CIA operatives, for Pete’s sake.

5) What phone habit do you find annoying? People who return calls based on their caller ID? (“Someone from there called me.”) People who talk on their cell in the car? People without answering machines? What?

Well, I told you one thing in #4. I also have a pet peave of people who return calls from caller ID. We’ve got seven lines in this office, and about 15 employees. Some random person calls up and states “Someone from this number called me!’ OK. Now what? You want me to produce that person out of mid air? Wanna give me a little something more to work with, like your name? Let’s try this: If we need to speak to you, and didn’t leave a message, it either wasn’t important, it was a wrong number, or we’ll call you back. OK? Fine.

My sister says: This week’s questions have to do with scrapbooking—well, not really, but kindda. I sell scrapbooking stuff, and three times a year, Close to My Heart creates five new paper themes. Today’s questions have evolved from those five themes.

1. BACK COUNTRY – Tell us about your furthest excursion from “civilization”. How far away into the Back Country did you go? What did you miss most about civilization? Can you give us a tip about survival?

Before Susan and I were married, we took a canoe trip down the Allagash. There were no hot showers. No bathrooms. We ran out of food on the last day. (Lunch was fruit cocktail that day–that’s all that was left!) I remember on the way out, we stopped at a McDonalds, and Susan ate a 20 piece nugget by herself! Survival tip? If you get lost, stay put!

2. MOON DOGGIE – This is a kind of a Hawaii/Surfing/Being Carefree/Relaxing kind of theme. Tell us about Hawaii, surfing, being carefree, or relaxing.

I’ve never been to Hawaii, and I’ve never been surfing. I did play gigs at the House of David Surfrider’s Shop in OOB. It’s a Christian surf shop that uses their proximity to the beach and free surf lessons to give kids a cool place to hang out. I wish that band was still together. I got quite a blessing playing with those guys.

3. ANIMAL COOKIES – Tell us about your favorite snack food as a child. Is it still around to buy today?

Hostess cupcakes. In fact, when CB radios were all the rage, my handle was “Cupcake.” They’re still around, and I still love them!

4. TINKERIN’ – Do you like to tinker with things? Do you like to take things apart and put them back together again? What has been your biggest tinkerin’ project?

I’m not really that much of a tinkerer, but I’ve never been afraid to open something up. Is the VCR broken? I’ll take a stab at it. In fact, I’ve fixed my VCR, my CD player, and my LD player. Just grab a screwdriver, open it up, and figure out what’s busted. The way I figure it, it’s already broke. If I screw it up, it’ll still be broke. If I fix it, I saved myself some money. I re-coned some speakers for a friend. I can build you a computer. I could restore a drum set for you, if needed. Is that tinkering?

5. BELLA – This paper is very feminine. Bella is also the main character of the “Twilight” books, which are very popular right now. This question will take us from one extreme to the other—first, tell us about something (or someone) that is very “feminine” and then tell us something about “vampires”. Extra points if you can weave the two themes into one answer.

Like my sister said, my daughter Julia is very girly-girl. She likes pink, dolls, dresses, jewelry, flowers, all that stuff. She doesn’t care for vampires. (I think vampires are sorta cool, especially the old school, Bram Stoker kind.)