Castanet Burns
I have a habit of mishearing things. I hear something, and I KNOW it’s not right, but sometimes the results are funny. What Nathaniel said was “How did llama get downstairs?” What I heard wad “How did Ramadan get in my bed?”
Author: brhythm
Friday Fill In #154
1. Good times: that’s what I need a little more of.
2.I talked to an insurance agent today about my home.
3. Sleigh bells ring in the most unexpected places, if you’ll just take the time to listen.
4. Someone should turn down the heat a little.
5. Once more with feeling this time.
6. Ever had one of those days when you just couldn’t wait for it to end?
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to getting done caroling, tomorrow my plans include ringing the bell for the Salvation Army, and Sunday, I want to stop having a poor attitude!
School Me in Economics
Let’s say I have business. And let’s say I know with the economic downturn, I can tell I’m going to lose money. Let’s say, for easy math (and I like easy math!), I’m planning on losing $100,000 this year. Now let’s say business isn’t as bad as I thought. It’s still bad, and I’m still losing money, but let’s say now I’m only going to lose $25,000. Here’s the question: Who in their right mind thinks “Woo hoo! I’m not losing as much as I thought! I think I’ll go out and spend $75,000 since I’d already planned on losing $100,000 anyway!”
Does that not sound ridiculous? Wouldn’t most of us say “I’m glad I’m not losing as much, but I still need to buckle down and at least try to make a profit. Now is not the time to be spending money–spending money I actually don’t have!”
Yet, the former seems to be the attitude of some of our legislators. The TARP bailout isn’t LOSING as much as they thought. So what do we do with the “leftover” money? (As if you can have leftover negative somethings!) Spend it! Hey, we’d already planned on it losing, so let’s spend it so we can meet our budgeted loss!
I’m not an economist. I was an English major; I don’t even particularly care for numbers at all. Yet I’m involved with budgets for my church, my household, and for two other organizations on whose boards I serve. What would they say if I proposed spending money in a budget deficit year, using the math theory “We’re not losing as much as we planned, so let’s spend!” They’d clonk me! It doesn’t make sense. Or does it, somehow? If so, please school me how.
Friday Fill In #152
1. Wait! Wait, don’t forget to take your house key; we haven’t made a spare yet.
2. Turkey consumption followed at once by a nap were my plans for yesterday.
3. The trouble is usually followed by the punishment.
4. The nearest drum shop is many miles away.
5. With a faint pop he sent the .177 pellet gun round into the raccoon that was raiding the trash.
6. I’m not a big fan of these rock bands whose lyrics are all shadowy and ominous.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to playing a gig in Bah Hahbah, tomorrow my plans include picking up the Christmas decorations at our old house, and Sunday, I want to kick it out and break it down (whatever that means)!
Dreaming of Pastor Dave’s Gig
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I had a strange dream last night that I wanted to get down.
Jim Thompson and I were hanging out in the old Rockland bowling alley. It was totally different on the inside, though. It had been redone as a family fun center. It was bright white inside. There was a cafe that featured live music. There were lots of video games. There were only two bowling lanes, and they weren’t open.
In my dream it was 6:30pm. It was still light outside, so it must’ve been late summer. Jim and I were sitting at a table, enjoying some kind of spritzer drink. Pastor Dave and Josey came through the door. Pastor Dave was carrying a guitar case and one of those singer/songwriter amps. I didn’t know he was going to be there. I got up, and walked over to him, and said “Are you playing a gig here tonight? I didn’t realize that!” He said, rather shortly, “No.” He then went up on stage, set his gear down, and started setting up. His reaction wasn’t typical Pastor Dave. I could tell something was bothering him. I didn’t want to bother him more by talking to him while he was setting up, so I went and sat back down.
When he was done setting his gear up, he came and sat down with Jim and me. He wasn’t playing the gig; he was acting as a roadie for a visiting folk musician. He was renting his gear to that person. I said something to the effect of “It’s nice to see you. I didn’t have any plans for tonight, so Jim and I came here to see the music.” Pastor Dave replied, “The ladies and I prayed for you tonight.” That’s when it hit me: I was supposed to be at a church prayer service at 6pm!
“I’m sorry, Pastor Dave! I forgot all about it! Honest, I did. You just heard me say I didn’t have any plans… I wouldn’t lie to you. I just forgot all about it.”
“It wasn’t very well attended,” Pastor Dave said. “It was just me and a couple of the older women.” I felt really bad. As a deacon, it’s my responsibility to be at services, to be ready to serve, and to be faithful. I felt like a heel. Pastor Dave got up, and went to the stage. I followed him.
When I got on stage, I could see off in the stage right wings a big envelope. It was one of those kind of plastic-y Priority Mail envelopes. I noticed it was my writing on the envelope. It was addressed to Steve Waterman’s mom! Apparently, the church had collected a bunch of cards for her when she was in the hospital. She had been moved to a long-term care center, and the hospital had returned it to sender. They had thoughtfully included the name and address of the facility where she was now. I fumed a little bit that the Post Office wouldn’t just deliver it to the now corrected address. But you know the Post Office: they want their postage times two! I looked at the date on the envelope. It was March! The envelope was about six months old!
The owner of the club noticed that I was looking at the envelope. He said to me “For some reason, the Post Office returned that here. Since you’re a musician, I figured you’d be playing in here sooner or later, and I’d just give it to you when you played a gig here. I kept forgetting to give it to you.”
Then I woke up.