Approval Addiction and the Best Compliment Ever

John Ortberg in his book The Life You’ve Always Wanted writes “Psychiatrist David Burns notes that it is not another person’s compliment or approval that makes us feel good; rather it is our belief that there is validity to the compliment.”

As a drummer, I’m complimented somewhat regularly with “You’re a regular Gene Krupa” or “Nice job Buddy Rich” or something like that. John and Jane Q. Public know those two drummers, and so when they want to compliment a drummer, those names come up. Those compliments mean nothing to me. I don’t think my drumming is anything like Gene Krupa’s. He is not an influence in how I play. Buddy Rich? I’ve said before that I’m not a good enough drummer to carry his sweaty towels. He was a MONSTER player, but so far above me with his technique that there’s nothing in me that’s remotely sounding of Buddy.

One night I was playing a gig in Camden. It was a private party, a Christmas party I believe. BIG house. We played upstairs. At one point the host said to me “You sound like Shelly Manne.” Now THAT was a compliment. There was VALIDITY to that compliment. Shelly Manne I HAVE studied. Shelly’s name isn’t going to be dropped randomly like Gene or Buddy or Ringo. Obviously this guy knows a thing or two about Jazz and Jazz drumming , and has the ears to know that there is some Shelly Manne in my playing. There are things I do in my playing because of Shelly. He is an actual influence on my playing. And so, because of the credibility of that compliment, I remember it to this day. And it makes me feel good to know that at one point at least someone appreciated my drumming on a deeper level than say the way my Mom loves my drumming.

Not much spirituality in today’s post; it’s mostly about drumming. But hey, let’s praise Him with resounding cymbals. 🙂

My First Ride Cymbal

In my previous post, I mentioned I bought my first pro cymbal, and that I had a video of me in high school playing my first battle of the bands, and using that crash. At that particular band battle, I didn’t yet own a ride cymbal! I had to borrow a ride from another drummer. I don’t remember the exact model ride, but I borrowed a Zildjian Platinum ride from one of the guys at the show. I was impressed by how much ping and cut came out of that cymbal. I was very impressed with it. By the next year, and the next band battle, I purchased a Zildjian Ping Ride from my local music store. I would’ve been a sophmore in high school, I think. Again, I have a video of that Battle of the Bands. I so much loved that cymbal that I asked the sound man to make sure it was heard in the mix. He mic’d it up separately! It was heard, alright. A mic’d Ping ride will get some attention. You can see that VHS on Youtube if you click here.

I still own that ride cymbal. My tastes have changed over the years. I prefer thinner ride cymbals now, lighter cymbals I can get a crash out of if needed. So this ride doesn’t get played much, but it still gets played at the occasional rock show. As I reflect on my friend Harvey, and the closure of my local music store, I think with fondness about my love of ride cymbals (only eclipsed gear wise by my snare drum love), and how it started when I was a young teen, 15 or so, at my local music shop. And now, now that it’s gone, young drummers won’t have a shop to go listen and pick out a cymbal. They’ll have to travel an hour or two, or buy online (where you can’t hear the cymbal before you buy it).  #NK2Music

 

Harvey and the local music store

My very first real drum set was purchased at Northern Kingdom Music, probably 1984 or so. For the last 35-ish years, I’ve done business with my local music shop. Northern Kingdom closed up a few years ago, but a couple of the employees picked up the mantle and opened K2 Music. Midcoast Maine continued to have a local music store through the line of NKM. Until yesterday. Yesterday K2 Music closed, and with it an era. I’m without a local music store. The closest one is now an hour away.

I’ve decided I want to highlight some stories, and show off some gear I purchased from NKM and K2 over the years. What musician doesn’t like talking gear?

This cymbal is a 16″ Zildjian thin crash. It’s the first professional cymbal I ever purchased, and I got it from NKM. I have a video of me playing a battle of the bands as a freshman in high school. In that video I was playing this cymbal. On a side note, in that video I’m playing a borrowed ride cymbal; I didn’t own my own ride at the time. Anyway, this crash is still in my possession, and currently is on a stand at my practice kit down in the teaching studio as I write.

Ear Plugs

I remember it was in the trailer where my beloved and I lived during our first two years of marriage–so this would’ve been 1994 or 1995-ish. I was an active musician, and we had recently been to a concert of some nature. My ears had been ringing. And would you believe, in the newspaper was an article about hearing damage, and a phone number to a telephone based hearing test. You called the number, and listeded to three tones. I remember calling, and remember I couldn’t hear all three. A recording at the end of the test said something like “If you’ve recently been exposed to loud noises, give your ears some time to rest, and then take the test again.” I did, and thankfully the test that time was normal. Since then, I’ve been routinely wearing earplugs when playing the drums.

Fast forward 23 or so years. I was listening to a drumming podcast, and the subject or ear protection came up. Specifically, a company was promoting high fidelity, but affordable and non custom made, earplugs. I decided I’d try a pair. And so, I’ve been on a bit of a quest. A quest to find the best, not custom, affordable earplugs.

I now own four different sets of earplugs, all less than $25. I’m going to give honest reviews of these earplugs here on the blog, with the hope other musicians find these reveiws and find them helpful in choosing something that will potentially save their hearing. Reveiws will begin soon.

In Memory of Steve

Monday night, at my jazz gig at The Slipway, I was discussing an upcoming absence of mine, and inquiring with the guys in the band about a sub. Steve Grover’s name came up as a possibility as a sub, but guitar player Dave said “I think I heard he’s struggling with cancer.” That’s the first time I heard such a thing.

In 1990, I was a Jazz and Contemporary Music major at the University of Maine, Augusta. The jazz program there was highly regarded at the time; it was where players went who couldn’t afford Berklee. I, of course, couldn’t afford Berklee, so UMA made a good choice. It was affordable, a fine school, and only an hour away from my parent’s house, so I could live at home. So I did. And Steve Grover was my drum instructor.

So intense was that music instruction that the one hour weekly lesson actually counted as two credit hours. I learned so much from Steve in that one semester, it’s unreal. So much of who I am as a jazz player came directly from Steve. I took jazz band in high school, and studied drums privately, but not really JAZZ drumming. That all came from Steve. Steve taught me the hemiola. Steve taught me independence, and comping. Steve beat alternating sticking into my head. He taught me how to count out loud by insisting that I do it–something I try to get MY students to do. And it was Steve that realized I’d been playing my right and left flams backwards for years! He made me go back and re-learn them–something that was very hard to do. All this stuff from Steve.

Wednesday night, two days after the initial news that Steve might be sick, I see a note from a mutual friend and trumpet player on Facebook. Steve’s in hospice. Hospice?! As I read down through the comments, I see “Steve’s taken a turn for the worse. He’s not in hospice. He’s in the hospital. He’s not expected to ever come out.”

Last night, just before 6pm, I was just about to start another gig, when I took a quick glance on Facebook. Steve died. Rest in peace Steve. You made a difference in my playing, and you made a difference in me.